Home » Dating Rules » 7 Simple Rules for Dating My Christian Daughter

7 Simple Rules for Dating My Christian Daughter

Watch Jerry take on Satan:

Video Rating: 2 / 5

25 comments

  1. One can enjoy sex, free of guilt, if guilt hasn’t been inculcated through
    years of rigid religious indoctrination. Oh man, this guy is creepy. I
    wonder how many restraining orders have been issued with this guy’s name on
    them?

  2. Michael 마익흘 Aronson

    There are sexual predators less creepy than this guy.

  3. ALLAHU AKBAR 

  4. Gosh, don’t you just hate those pesky women. All they want to do is seduce
    men with their anatomies. How dare they… Using their breastses and
    such… Unspeakable!!!

  5. and let me take a WILD guess, this guy was caught either banging an
    underage girl or male prostitute at some point after filming this 

  6. This guy is creepy as fuck, lol 

  7. Teens respond really well to enumerated sets of rules.

  8. Danielle, you are so. ready.
    Thanks dad. How about taking your arm off my knee?

  9. I kinda wan’t to finger fuck Dannielle. But in a holy kinda way. 

  10. “They now endure the taunt of slut.”

    Because of Christianity? 

  11. richardhalsted1984

    Once you have eaten pizza for the first time, you can never go back to
    being a pizza virgin ever again.

  12. Even Christian boys would be creeped out from dating his daughter or anyone
    in that family!!! He is the stereotype sociopath neighbor you do not want
    to have!

  13. He for got to say rule 8 she can say “Fuck Me In The Ass Because I Love
    Jesus” google it here are the lyrics
    “So whatever people tell me that the Bible tells me, I will do
    Walk the halls of my school with my purity ring
    Unlike those other girls, I’ve got my morals in check
    It was easy to do till I got a boyfriend
    And pardon my French, but he’s cute as heck
    And I made a pact
    To keep my hymen intact
    And Jesus and I are tight
    Never learned about the birds and bees
    I was taught to keep an aspirin in between my knees
    Because the Bible says premarital sex is wrong
    But Jason says that guys can’t wait that long
    And I don’t want to lose him
    To someone who’ll do him
    I need to figure something out
    Well, there’s a loophole in the scripture that works really well
    So I can get him off without going to hell
    It’s my hail Mary full of grace
    In Jesus’ name, we go to fifth base
    Oh, thank you for making me holy
    And thank you for giving me holes to choose from
    And since I’m not a godless whore
    He’ll have to come in the back door
    Therefore
    Fuck me in the ass because I love Jesus
    The good lord would want it that way
    It’s the sweet sensation of a throbbing rationalization
    It’s just between you and me
    Because everyone knows it’s the sex that God can’t see
    It’s hard to be as pure as me
    To resist the urge to lose my vaginal virginity
    To wait until my marriage bed
    To give my husband my unsullied maidenhead
    So take your cock out
    Shove it in my ass
    Fuck me until you come
    Oops!
    I mean let’s join our souls
    And unite our bodies
    And fly with the wings of God
    Whatever you do, don’t touch my clitoris
    If you ring Satan’s doorbell, God can’t ignore this
    And no prophylactics when you put it in
    Because birth control’s for sluts, and it’s a sin
    I’ve emptied my bowels
    And laid out the towels
    I’m ready for romance
    I’m praying to the power that’s the highest
    But of all of my holes, this one’s the driest
    And we can’t procreate if we anally copulate
    And God’s OK with sodomy, but only if you’re straight
    And I’m staying pure no matter what
    So I’m OK with everything but
    Everything but
    Everything butt
    Fuck me in the ass because I love Jesus
    The good lord would want it that way
    Give me that sweet sensation of throbbing rationalization
    It’s just between you and me
    Because everyone knows it’s the sex that God can’t see
    I do whatever the Bible tells me to
    Except for the parts that I choose to ignore
    Because they’re unrealistic and inconvenient
    But the rest, I live by for sure
    So let’s not talk about how the good book
    Bans shellfish, polyester and divorce
    And how it condones slavery and killing gays
    Because those parts don’t count of course
    Let’s cherry pick the part about losing my cherry
    And ? for ambiguities and omissions
    And circumvent any real sacrifice
    And still feel pious in my arbitrary parroted positions
    And don’t you dare question my convictions
    And don’t look closely at the contradictions
    Just focus on the sacrificial crucifixion
    And have faith in its complete jurisdiction
    It’s the only way to measure if you’re good or not
    And when you’re in a debate, just say to have faith
    Because when up against logic it’s the only card you’ve got
    So close your eyes
    Take a deep breath
    And
    Fuck me in the ass because I love Jesus
    The good lord would want it that way
    Give me that sweet sensation of irrational rationalization
    It’s just between you and me
    Because everyone knows it’s the sex that God can’t see
    Yeah, my chastity belt has locks
    So sometimes you need to think outside the box

  14. What ever happened to Danielle?! Someone needs to track her down.

  15. Rotten Egg Creations

    Always wanted to see the deleted scene from The Shining

  16. That shirt is a horrible mistake

  17. I’m pretty sure this guy wants to F#&K his daughter..

  18. You’ve heard of Stepford Wives? Meet a Stepford Husband… 

  19. @midnight

  20. I feel the need to take a bath after listening to this guy.
    p.s. I wouldn’t trust my devil-worshipping daughter with this lech.

  21. Haha, hilarious. He’ll make perfect threats with that voice, you know,
    sadistic mob threats, in the most polite way.

  22. She was so holding back laughing at the end

  23. Dannielle looks like she’s secretly laughing at daddy as she recalls being
    taken hard in every orifice by those well hung Jewish twins only the other
    night.

  24. now I understand why christians were persecuted in ancient roman times. 

  25. Justin Williamson

    Poor Danielle is getting raped anally right about now

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

*


*

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>

Banner